Why did Jesus ask Peter three times, “Do you love me?”
As recorded in the Gospel of John, chapter 21, verses 15-17, Jesus asked Peter three times: “Do you love me?”.
This happened while Peter was anxiously waiting in the court of the high priest during the trial of Jesus (John 18:15-16). Despite Peter’s sudden actions and steadfast claims of loyalty, he denied the Lord Jesus three times (John 18:17-18, 25-27).
Fearing that he would be recognized as one of Jesus’ disciples, he vehemently and repeatedly denied that he knew Christ (Matthew 26:74). Only after the rooster crowed a second time at dawn did Peter realize what he had done.
Christ had already warned him about denial: “Christ answered him, ‘Truly I say to you, tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times'” (Matthew 26:34).
After remembering the words of Jesus, Peter suffered a severe torment of conscience and broke down in tears (Mark 14:72). He had denied his Lord, the one for whom he claimed to die (Matthew 26:35).
Peter’s restoration by Jesus
After they had finished eating, Jesus asked Peter three times, “Peter, do you love me?” Asked. Every question was about whether Peter loved Jesus and was raised by the fire (John 21:9). This is the situation where Peter denied Christ: beside a burning fire (Mark 15:54; John 18:18).
Although Jesus’ questions may seem repetitive, the fact that Jesus asked three times is very significant. Just as Peter denied Jesus three times, God asked him three times if he loved him. This was part of Christ’s restoration of authority and mission to Peter.
Instead of calling him “Peter,” Jesus called him “Simon son of John,” just as he had called him when he was first called (John 1:42). This shows that Jesus was restoring Simon’s position as Peter’s apostle.
The first time Jesus asked his question, he asked, “Do you love me more than these?” (John 21:15).
By “these” that Peter loved, Jesus probably meant his familiar life, including fishing. Jesus asks Peter if he loves him more than his old way of life.
The next two times, Jesus repeats his question, “Peter, do you love me?” (John 21:16-17). Peter answers “yes” and appeals to Jesus’ omniscience, for Christ already knew his deepest feelings (John 21:16-17).
Interestingly, in the first two questions Jesus used the Greek word “agape” meaning the highest form of love, and then in the last question he used “philio” meaning love between friends (Strong’s Greek: 25 and 5368).
Some commentators have debated whether this choice of words in the Greek is significant given Peter’s constant use of “filio” to express love for Jesus. Whether or not Jesus met Peter on his level of understanding of love, the focus was on restoring Peter’s position.
Peter affirms his love for Christ, but is annoyed that Christ asks him three times (John 21:17). However, this was necessary because he had denied God three times.
With each affirmation of love, Jesus says to Peter, “Feed my lambs,” “Feed my sheep,” and “Feed my sheep” (John 21:15-17).
Instead of returning to a life of fishing, Jesus reminded Peter that he was a “fisher of men” (Matthew 4:19) and would be tasked with shepherding his flock: the church. Thus, the timid disciple who denied knowing God was restored to his place as the shepherd leader for the future church. Later, in his epistle to the churches, Peter contrasted the duty with that of shepherding, as Jesus, the Good Shepherd, had taught him (1 Peter 5:1-4).
Amazing grace and forgiveness
Disagreement is difficult, especially when loved ones are involved. Hurtful words may be said thoughtlessly or intentionally to hurt others. But still, when all is said and done, guilt arises and people seek forgiveness and reconciliation.
Unfortunately, the capricious and superficial love that is so common in this mortal world can lead to bitterness and unforgiveness. The longing in human hearts is for a love that tolerates mistakes and gives willingly. Only God provides this kind of love: a selfless and unending love.
Peter experienced such love after Christ’s resurrection. Despite all of Peter’s failures and sins and the triple question of “Do you love me?”, Jesus still loved him and forgave him.
The reason Jesus asked Peter if he loved him was not only to restore this disciple’s status, but to confirm the love that only he could give. This post-resurrection event reveals the amazing truth that God loves and forgives His children despite their past mistakes.
Today’s believers, like Peter, can receive forgiveness from God if they repent, even when they fail and sin (1 John 1:9). Unlike humans, God’s love is unconditional.
This amazing grace and love caused the apostle Paul to pray: “I pray that you, rooted and established in love, will have the strength to understand, together with all the saints of God, how great is the breadth and length and height and depth of the love of Christ.” (Ephesians 3:17-18).
God’s love does not depend on what His children may or may not do, but on what Christ has already done.
God is not only kind and forgiving, but also steadfast. As Paul states in his second letter to Timothy: “If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, because he cannot deny himself” (2 Timothy 2:13).
Peter experienced such steadfastness from God when, despite his failure, he was graciously forgiven.
Making mistakes and failing is inevitable because of the war between the sinful nature and the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:17). However, this does not mean that God abandons Himself.
Because Peter was so uncertain about the future, he returned to what was familiar to him in life. This former fisherman returned to what he knew and what was normal for him: fishing. Peter and six other disciples fished all night in the Sea of Galilee without catching anything (John 21:2-3).
It was only when Jesus told the disciples to let down their nets that they were able to catch a large catch of fish (John 21:6). Finally, at that moment, the disciples realized that the man Jesus, the resurrected Lord, went to the beach to have breakfast with him (John 21:7-14).
As Jesus gently but firmly asked Peter, “Peter, do you love me?” And he dealt with Peter’s mistakes, he will do the same with his followers today.
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